Damn Gypsies
A friend of mine who doesn't write for a living has decided that all writers are paranoid and delusional. The problem is, he has proof of this statement in the form of at least two writing sites outlining some of the different paranoid and delusional thoughts most writers experience at least once in their careers. I know there's a third one out there, too, but I haven't been able to find it again. They probably moved it so I couldn't report on its existence.
He's recently indicated that he doesn't believe writers sleep either. Ever. I think he's been reading this blog because we recently discussed not sleeping. And then he asked if writers ate. Yes, I definitely think he is lurking here.
I've shown him the opening scenes from my novel-in-progress. He wants to see more. I don't know why. He has discriminating tastes in reading material and I write trite, cliché space operas that no one in their right mind would ever read willingly. When the manuscript is done, I'll probably have to bribe my writing group to read it by offering to read their glorious pieces of prose that will drive me further to despair -- you know that's what the writing group wants, don't you? To drive me over the edge so there will be one less writer they are competing with in the slush pile.
But never mind them. They can be dealt with. Later. Right now I must learn what my friend is scheming, why he would want to read my hackneyed prose. But what if it isn't hackneyed? What if it is brilliant and I am just too close to it to see it? What if...
Oh, no. That's it. That must be it. There can be no other explanation.
My manuscript is brilliant. It is the best written novel of the current century. And my friend, he's signed a contract with Satan and is in league with the gypsies!